there are people who are proud of their cross-border marriages and feel that it is the way to renew old family ties. Delhi-based Mohd Rafi, who is married to Shehnaz, a resident of Burns Road, Karachi, is very happy with his three children. Shehnaz, who is yet to get her Indian nationality, is living on a long-term visa (LTV) since her marriage in 1984. She badly misses her relatives and whenever she gets a chance in three or fours years she visits Pakistan.
Mohd Rafi says: “We had an arranged marriage because our parents wanted to renew the old family relationship.” When TSI asked whether the uncertainty in Indo-Pak relations disturbs him, Mohd Rafi responded diplomatically, “They do disturb at times, but life is the name of all such disturbances.” He is not averse to the idea of marrying his children in Pakistan. He says: “If there is good proposal, why not?”
When India and Pakistan play a cricket match against each other, there is no divided allegiance within the family because Rafi’s wife whole-heartedly supports the Indian team. Mohd Jalil, a Delhi-based caterer, got married to Zahira of Karachi after 26/11. They have a two-month-old daughter, Hadia. Jalil says: “We do not find any difference between Karachi and Delhi. Culturally we are the ame. In any case the internet age has brought the two nations so close that even my wife does not misss her parents. She can talk to her relatives whenever she wants.”
About Indo-Pak cricket matches, Jalil, who represented Delhi at the junior level, says: “I basically support the game but Sehwag is my hero. My wife does not understand cricket so the question of her supporting any team does not arise.”
When TSI asked Zahira which city is better, Delhi or Karachi, both she and Jalil insisted that their city is better, but both agreed that Karachi’s transport system was no match for Delhi’s. They assert that Delhi is a better place to live in.
Given the thorny relations between the two countries, no decision regarding a cross-border marriage is ever easy. Families have to weigh the pros and cons. That probably explains why the number of such cross-border marriages has declined in recent years.
Mohd Rafi says: “We had an arranged marriage because our parents wanted to renew the old family relationship.” When TSI asked whether the uncertainty in Indo-Pak relations disturbs him, Mohd Rafi responded diplomatically, “They do disturb at times, but life is the name of all such disturbances.” He is not averse to the idea of marrying his children in Pakistan. He says: “If there is good proposal, why not?”
When India and Pakistan play a cricket match against each other, there is no divided allegiance within the family because Rafi’s wife whole-heartedly supports the Indian team. Mohd Jalil, a Delhi-based caterer, got married to Zahira of Karachi after 26/11. They have a two-month-old daughter, Hadia. Jalil says: “We do not find any difference between Karachi and Delhi. Culturally we are the ame. In any case the internet age has brought the two nations so close that even my wife does not misss her parents. She can talk to her relatives whenever she wants.”
About Indo-Pak cricket matches, Jalil, who represented Delhi at the junior level, says: “I basically support the game but Sehwag is my hero. My wife does not understand cricket so the question of her supporting any team does not arise.”
When TSI asked Zahira which city is better, Delhi or Karachi, both she and Jalil insisted that their city is better, but both agreed that Karachi’s transport system was no match for Delhi’s. They assert that Delhi is a better place to live in.
Given the thorny relations between the two countries, no decision regarding a cross-border marriage is ever easy. Families have to weigh the pros and cons. That probably explains why the number of such cross-border marriages has declined in recent years.
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